I’m still here.
I wish I could say my recent absence from the internet was due to my life getting super awesome and that I’ve just been having way too much fun. But it’s really just the opposite of that. My life has gotten super hectic and I’ve been quite unhappy and stressed out. Lots of early mornings - and many more to come, including tomorrow - certainly hasn’t helped. I’ve been so fucking exhausted lately, I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen asleep before 3am the last 4 nights. Well, passed out is more like it I guess. Alcohol and/or weed has perhaps been a factor each night, but that never used to matter before. Asleep before 3am under any circumstances is basically unheard of for me. But 4 nights in a row?!? I don’t think I ever even managed that in college. I’m not sure if that means I’m more stressed out now, or I’m just getting old. Maybe it’s both.
It’s also been hitting me again, as it does at least once a year or so, that I’m not at all where I want to be…emotionally, mentally, or geographically. No part of my life is the least bit fulfilling right now, and I can’t hide from that any longer. But I just feel stuck. Doomed. Hopeless.
Now you see why I haven’t been around lately. I haven’t even turned my computer on in about a week. I’m a bit of a buzzkill at the moment, so consider yourselves fortunate. I simply have nothing good to say. So why say anything at all?
But I do hope things are going well with all my lovely tumblr pals. And please feel free to email me (or return my email from ages ago…ahem ahem). I might not get it right away, but I promise to write back when I do. As for my blog, I’ll come back around when things seem a little rosier. Or when shit just gets so fucking bleak I feel compelled to come here and vent. If it ends up being the latter, I apologize in advance.
Peace.
